Can you be friends with someone who works for you, especially when your role requires you to harbor secrets from them? You can’t always be transparent about your own challenges. And you must keep key decisions confidential until the timing is right. From time to time, you may develop a friendship with someone in your organization. It’s one thing to have a peer-to-peer friendship at work, but another with a subordinate. Not every boss knows how to navigate the fine line of how much to share and when. But there are ways you can set your friendship up for success. Here are five tips on how to manage a friendship with one of your employees. Choose your friends carefully.Having a friend who is a subordinate requires high degrees of trust and judgment on both parts. It’s not possible with every work relationship. Set expectations at the start.You will have knowledge and responsibilities beyond your friend’s role and clearance, and your friend needs to know that. Be transparent up front about what you can and can’t share. Be clear about your roles in conversation.Explicitly setting norms together for how you will work and play creates equality and equanimity in your friendship. Whether you’re in a one-on-one conversation in the office or hanging out together after work, be transparent about what kind of conversation you’re having. Say something like, “Let’s talk about this in friend mode.” Or, “Here’s a work topic that I’d like to bring up and get out of the way first.” This allows your friend to have an equal say in what topics are discussed when. Be transparent with others.Others might feel awkward disclosing their feelings about your employee, especially if they have negative feedback. They might wonder if you’ll hold their comments against them, or if you might unduly influence the outcome of the discussion. On the other hand, you might know more than you’re supposed to bring into the professional setting. Be careful that inside information wouldn’t be taken out of context. Do your job.Be direct and prompt in communications — especially when it comes to negative feedback or unpleasant news, like a layoff. Even if you’re afraid of hurting your friend’s feelings or fear they might get defensive, speak up, but be prepared that there may be rocky times or even long breaks in your relationship. As you wrap up the discussion, let your colleague know you want to be friends, but give them space to make their own decision about whether they also want to maintain the friendship. F Friendships are based on mutual trust and transparency. Navigating manager-employee friendships is tricky, especially when, as a boss, you’re privy to information that your employee is not. The work friendships that survive are also based on trust and transparency: transparency about the boundaries within which you will be able to communicate and trust that your actions are professional, not personal. |
https://hbr.org/2018/02/how-to-be-friends-with-someone-who-works-for-you?utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=hbr
